Monday, October 31, 2011

Every day I'm shuffling

I know you're singing the song in your head now. It's OK. Go ahead and take a minute to shuffle your booty around the floor while you sing, I'll wait. Feel better? I know I do. I always do after a great workout, whatever that work out may be. Granted I may be cussing whoever just handed me my ass in the workout but it's a cussing with a lot of love behind it. I'm struggling. No...change that. I'm more than struggling. I am simply here, not working out and not watching what I eat. Well I do watch what I eat as it goes into my mouth. I miss having a gym close, more than I thought I would. I didn't realize how much I enjoyed going to the gym until the option was taken away from me. I miss the natural high I got from walking into the gym, workout pants on, and stepping on that treadmill surrounded by others feeling the need for speed (and losing pounds). I miss Zumba and Centergy classes. I miss the weight machines. I miss the walking track that I'd use to cool down after an awesome cardio and weight session.

I bought a treadmill several weeks ago and I just need to get it set up. But what if I don't get that high like I got at the gym? And the biggest what if for me is this: What if I make goal weight and I'm STILL not happy with my body. What then? Maybe that's part of what keeps me from losing past a certain point? I am my own worst enemy that is for sure. I need to get past this fear. I just need to suck it up and get back on the ball, quite literally so I can get this midsection toned up. I want to fit back into my rocking cute professional clothes. I want to be able to put on a pair of damn sexy boots and strut my stuff. Now where is the hot crew of men to put my treadmill together so I can get started on all of that?

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