I can't believe how long it's been since I've blogged, especially because I've had a lot to say in the last few weeks. My counselor and I discussed me journaling or blogging every day between sessions and I just haven't done it until today. There has been so much going on and so much to be thankful for these past few weeks.
My birthday was March 21st and I turned a young 28. It's hard to believe that in just two years I will be the big 3-0. I sometimes look at my life and think what have I accomplished in 28 years, but I've done a lot that many my age haven't done. I've traveled pretty extensively, granted not out of the country but I have seen almost 25 of our great states in the US. California will make 25 in June and I couldn't be more excited even if I have to make the trip alone. It is going to be such a fun adventure (and hopefully a safe one too). I bought a house. I've gone white water rafting and will hopefully be skydiving this summer. I've loved and lost and loved again. I've got my groove back these days. I've made dozens of friends that I consider close confidants and more like family than friends. And I've made a difference in hundreds of kids lives whether it was imparting some minor wisdom that I've learned over the years or spending time with them when no one else wanted to.
For my birthday I got to see the Harlem Globetrotters play with three of my dearest friends and we had such a great time. I feel so incredibly blessed with the friends that I have and that when I tell them they are going to spend my day with me they happily agree (this includes you Jamie...don't pretend). I have been wanting to see them for such a long time and thanks to one of my awesome mentors she was able to score me four free tickets. So not only did I get to see them, but I got to see them FOR FREE!! If you have never seen them, and like laughing, I definitely suggest taking in a show. It is fun to be had by all in attendance.
Kayla came down to see me and that was such an incredible trip and week with her. I cried when she had to get back on a plane from Charlotte. We got to spend time visiting with some great friends, eating good food (considering her terrible morning sickness this was GREAT), laughing, talking, and seeing the sights of the south. I think the trip really sold her on the beauty and hospitality of those in the South, because let's be honest there really is no place like the Southern US.
Counseling is going well and I feel like I'm making some great progress in the goals that I set for myself before going into therapy. I am a much more open person in relationships with the opposite sex, whereas I have kind of always taken a backseat to the guys and let them lead. Damn the "rules" and expectations that society has placed on women when it comes to relationships. I am going to do things my way from now on. If I like a guy I'm going to tell him. If I want to be with him I'm going to tell him. If I think he's not right for me for one reason or another I'm going to tell him. And if he's being a jerk, too clingy, needy, or whatever I will tell him. I refuse to settle this time around. I refuse to do what I've always done in past relationships. If he doesn't like me for me, then he's not the right guy for me. I have to be true to myself. I have to not doubt myself. If I see red flags I have to do what is best for me. The old me would have brushed the red flags aside and gone with it anyway because I was afraid of not ever finding love with anyone else. But those fears are gone. I don't care if it takes until I'm 60 to find the right guy for me. It takes as long as it takes. Until that time, I am going to do right by me and live for myself. Because until someone comes along that can keep up and handle me at my best and worst, I am the only person that matters.
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